My first exam is tomorrow. I really should be sleeping right now to be honest so i’m actually conscious for it..

I’ve revised a fair amount for it, I’m not going to lie. Normally I get seriously stressed about exams. I worry and I get really scared, I can’t sleep the night before, I can’t eat in the morning. I normally get really scared for exams.

So why am I not scared now? For some reason I don’t feel nervous at all for this exam and I don’t know what is wrong with me. It doesn’t even feel like I have an exam tomorrow. I want to pull myself together and get nervous so I do well, because I always seem to do best when a little nervous.

I just feel like I’m not taking this seriously enough and I hate myself for it. Because I know I have got into uni and whatever happens this month, I will go to uni in September. And I worry this means I’m not going to do well because I have no motivation. And don’t get me wrong, it is so nice to know I don’t need to do well. But I want to.

I’m one of those people who always wants to do well in everything. I’m just scared that I’m not taking this exams seriously enough and I’m not going to do well.

And then I feel bad for complaining because I should be grateful that I have a place in uni and that I don’t need to do well this year. I just like doing well okay? Is there anything so wrong with that?

/rant over. for now